I read a fantastic article that inspired this blog post! (link is posted at the bottom of this post)
I feel like many people are “searching” or “trying to get to” a higher consciousness. This is all well and good, but, I realized in my journey that I was disregarding the 3D world I live in. There is no way to escape the 3D world. The 3D world gave us the power of senses and form. Our 3d Self was meant to connect with our 5d Self.
When we realize that we can be spiritual beings and human beings at the same time, we become powerful beings and start bringing our purpose/wishes/wants into form. When I started on this journey it wasn’t of choice (and I’m sure most go through it similarly). My journey was created out of trauma, several traumas. One day after the final blow to my head (physically and mentally speaking) I begain to realize that there is a bigger picture. This began to stir up so much anger toward my 3D world. I focused so much on what was dark and trying to understand why I saw this darkness and how to get rid of it that I begna to isolate myself from humanity. I thought this was how I was going to stay in the “light”. The problem was, I was still not operating from love..self love and universal love. I was still fully operating from my ego.
As I kept on this journey (with several nudges and shakes of “hello, you’re on the wrong path again!” from the Universe), I learned more. I began to realize my thoughts were creating my reality. So, I began trying to change my thoughts lol. I spent a lot of time in this “I need to be positive and change my thoughts if I want a better life” phase. Just about every so called Tony Robbins type “guru” will tell you so.
That phase caused so much frustration for me. I did so many things, I tried so many ways to “better myself”. I was determined to stay in that “light”. I did this for years!
It wasn’t that long ago that I completely lost it. I was giving up on something I didn’t even know or understand lol. I was constantly wondering “what the fuck is the point?”. I’m 47 years old, I should have my shit together by now!
I cried so much and begged for signs.
“Please Universe, help me! What am I missing? What is it that I need to know?”
That’s when a teacher was revealed to me. She was showing me something else. After the first time I talked to her, I was more confused than I was before. I sat with it, tried to understand what she told me. We talked again, same thing. Walked away in confusion after our conversation. She probably felt me cursing her name at night. “What the fuck did you do to my head?” (side note: my teacher is a beautiful soul that I can not thank enough for coming into my life)
I decided to stop everything and gave myself space. I stopped searching, I stopped thinking, I spent time in self care. I started doing things that I loved, that I haven’t done in a long time.
Then something happened. A shift. That’s when I realized that I didn’t have to do anything and I don’t have to know anything. I didn’t have to change my thoughts, or “try” to do anything. I just had to be and observe my thoughts and thinking without attaching feelings to them. It’s when we attach feelings to them, that they fuck with us.
Everything in my life became instantly better!
It wasn’t my thoughts that was fucking my life up, it was my thinking about thoughts which were creating false feelings.
Thoughts/Inspiration + Action = Creation
Thoughts/Inspiration + Thinking = No Action = Depression/Sadness/Anger/Frustration/Anxiety/Stress
I was constantly traveling to the past and future in my mind and forgeting the present. I thought I was pretty good at predicting the future lol. “I’m going to fail at ____” creating feelings of loss and hopelessness. I bought into this bullshit all day long with all my thinking. How the hell did I know I was going to fail? I didn’t. I mean I could fail in the future. But the future is not now. I can’t fail now for something I haven’t even done yet. I’ve created feelings of hopelessness because of something that hasn’t happened? WHAT?
Neither the past or the future exist and the feelings that you make in the now because of them are not true. They’re a mind trick.
Now, all I know is, I’m a soul put into a human body. As a soul you can not create form. It takes the human part to create form. Our soul knows everything already, and our physical human self has the power to create form from that knowing. It’s the shit in between that stops us from becoming that powerful being we were meant to be on earth.
It is this insight that has completely changed my life. I laugh at everything now! I find my thoughts about outside input funny and mostly shit lol. Life has become more amazing for me now. There’s a feeling in my heart space that feels warm and unexplainable, even in those moments, when I sense my thoughts/thinking creating fake feelings. But most of all I find things more funny because of how simple it all really is. Am I where I should be now? Ummm, I don’t know. I can’t answer how this journey plays out in the future. I only know what is now.
I could go a whole lot deeper on this topic and other insights I’ve had on my journey, but, I wanted to share where I am now. It is through my journey that has lead me to wanting to help others through it. We are all so incredible and we have so much power within us to create amazing things on this planet.